Welcome friends!
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Ah yes, good old Valentine’s Day. One of my favorite holidays. What’s not to like? A holiday celebrating romantic love or I suppose more broadly any sort of love, surely one of the noblest of human emotions. Or is that a matter of debate? How sad to read in the papers today an opinion piece lamenting what the author of the article suggested was an increasing absence of romantic love here in the USA particularly among young people, formerly and traditionally most susceptible to such things. Searching for answers the article touched on our addiction to the mind numbing plague of social media and our possibly consequent ignorant and ill-tempered public discourse before settling on what the author felt was the most likely culprit: an increasingly fear-based culture in which the goal of all parents is to shield their very special progeny from any potential setback or harm be it physical, psychological, or emotional. Seems somewhat plausible to me. People do seem to fret and worry about things a lot more than I remember from my own childhood but maybe I just wasn’t paying attention. Has been known to happen now and then. And of course under the still dominant conservative perspective the prevailing attitude for several decades now has been everyone is very, very special indeed and the main goal in life is to prevent other people interfering with the majestic display of one’s own remarkable ego. Not exactly the sort of attitude that would make one sympathetic to romantic love, which inevitably involves allowing someone else to play such a prominent role in the story of one’s own life. However, I would like to throw my hat in the ring and suggest another likely culprit also emanating from the same conservative cultural currents: greed.
Why makes me think that? A night at the theater. A little while ago now I was watching a play entitled The Heiress by Ruth and Augustus Goetz based on the short novel Washington Square by Henry James. It’s been around a while. A revival of a play from 1947 based on a novel from 1880. A sort of classic I suppose, but I don’t meant that in the stodgy negative way. Sometimes classics become so for very sound reasons, don’t you find? Well, I thought so in this case anyway. It made me think, which I suppose must be one of the few acceptable reasons to spend a night at the theater. The story involved a plain and socially awkward but very rich young lady who could not or would not reconcile herself to the fact that her wealth was one of her most attractive assets and indeed perhaps her only asset as far as prospective suitors are concerned. She turns on her father when he basically tells her so rather too bluntly perhaps while trying to protect her or her fortune at least from a probable gold digger of a suitor and then turns on the suitor who left abruptly when he thought she might not get a large chunk of her inheritance but returns to pick up where he left off when it turns out she does. After repudiating both father and suitor the young woman apparently resolves to fulfill her own prophecy that she will never find or indeed apparently again even seek true love. The chilling ending has her rejecting the suitor in no uncertain terms and comfortably ensconced in her mansion ascending the stairs to her bedroom alone, pausing at the top flight to bid her aunt (and the audience) good night, then blowing out the candle leaving herself (and the theater) in utter darkness. I found it tragic but also thought provoking. Was the young lady right to renounce romantic love unless entirely free from material considerations? Or was she as her aunt suggested unnecessarily consigning herself to a life without romance by simply expecting too much of other people? Was consideration of her fortune really any more egregious than consideration of another’s ephemeral good looks or unreliable popularity or what have you? Was she right to hate her father because he told her what he believed to be the truth? That she had little to attract suitors beyond her fortune? Or was she too easily convinced by her father and this one suitor no love would ever be proffered were it not for her fortune? Or is that wishful thinking on my part? Grasping for straws?
Seemed to me some pretty serious stuff going on at the denouement but to my surprise a good portion of the audience burst into laughter. It took a while but eventually it dawned on me what they saw was probably a simple revenge story with a timely girl power twist. Some men were mean to a young woman and she got mean in return. She told men to take a hike. Get outta here! And she kept all the money. A happy ending for all. Seems the question of true love never entered the equation or if it did then in the age old battle of money or love money won handily this time around. No contest really. Was it always so? Certainly seems a traditional theme, right? That material wealth is real. It’s tangible. It’s what any sensible person wants. Love is a fantasy. It’s not real. It’s ephemeral. It’s strictly for fools or simpletons. According to the old song a diamond, not another person, is a girl’s best friend. I guess I’m just an old softy at heart because I don’t think so. Indeed, I’d put it the other way round. For me, love is ultimately what’s most important and valuable in life. Receiving love is always nice to be sure but what’s more crucial by far in terms of bringing meaning to life is the bestowing of love. And when you give your love to another person you inevitably give up something, you put something in jeopardy, you can no longer live as though you were the only person in the world. Your finances may take a hit. In direct contradiction to the conservative credo greed no longer appears so good. But it’s not only that. Your waistline may take a hit. Your busy schedule may take a hit. Your habits of a lifetime may take a hit. That’s what must happen when you attach significance to another person. It’s no longer all about the Great I but the Great We. Love strikes me as the true basis of human society and inevitably the first casualty when one adopts the inhuman anti-social egotism and greed of conservative ideology.
So going back to the play and funny reactions it occurs to me now perhaps all I was witnessing was a difference in perspectives between the conservatives and the liberals in the audience. Between those doggedly devoted to their own financial situation and those who while perhaps having their share of self regard also appreciated the power and beauty of true love. Don’t really know for sure. Just some random thoughts on this most romantic of holidays. I suppose we could investigate. I could hardly ask anyone to repudiate love; that would be immoral. But we could try the other tack. So let me throw down a challenge. If you consider yourself a conservative declare your love for another and really mean it. Act accordingly. See if it changes your perspective at all. I’m banking it will. Let’s see the play again next year. Will you laugh and cheer at the amusing spectacle of a young woman renouncing love to protect her fortune? Or will you see a horrible human tragedy instead? Will you perhaps detect the ultimate basis of liberalism and leftism in a concern for others, or will you remain forever obsessed with your own situation and view others as only a threat to one’s fortune? Devoted to the unfettered freedom of the Great I? Greed as the ultimate good? Only time will tell. But I like my chances.
References
The U.S. is in a crisis of love. Arthur Brooks. The Washington Post. February 13, 2019. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-us-is-in-a-crisis-of-love/2019/02/13/06b92e3e-2ef1-11e9-8ad3-9a5b113ecd3c_story.html?utm_term=.5dcfdba5a3cb.
