Welcome friends!
I suppose you read about the latest outrage perpetrated by a self-proclaimed Islamic terrorist here in the USA? Yes, seems a local fellow of Afghan descent, Omar Mateen, managed to force his way into a nightclub in sunny and fun loving Orlando Florida armed with an assault rifle and pistol and cowardly and in cold blood murder forty-nine innocent unarmed young people and maim an additional fifty-three. According to reports he was laughing as he killed his victims. The cops eventually put some bullets in his head and he wasn’t laughing so much after that. Such an irritating story on so many different levels. Seems Omar had been praising Islamic terrorist groups and mocking their victims as far back as the attacks of 9/11 when he was still in high school. A fellow employee at the security firm where he worked described him as a violent nut who spewed hatred toward all manner of people and talked enthusiastically about mass murder. Apparently this behavior made no impression at all on his school system, his employers, the local Imam, or his father, who characterized Omar after the murder spree as a good son. Indeed according to his dad Omar erred only in forgetting “God will punish homosexuals.” Such a fine line isn’t it? One minute you’re helping God do his / her / its work and the next minute you’re one of the worst mass murderers the USA has ever seen.
I’m not sure but I think British-born Islamic cleric Sheikh Farrokh Sekaleshafar may be able to help us with subtle distinctions of this sort. He now resides in Iran but for some reason was lecturing somewhere near Orlando last April. Hey, don’t ask me; I just live here. In 2013 he gave a lecture at the University of Michigan in which he explained Muslims have a religious duty to kill gay people. In his words, “Death is the sentence. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about this. Death is the sentence.” Anyway, he seems quite the expert on fine distinctions relating to Islam and murder. For example, he rejects the way Islamic State terrorists have been murdering gay people and notes with disdain they belong to the Sunni sect of Islam. He belongs to the rival Shia sect. He thinks Muslims should kill gay people in an official judicial context. Pretty funny isn’t it? I’m certainly no expert on the issue but I think many Muslims here in the USA and other modern democracies don’t really believe they have a religious duty to kill gay people in either an official or unofficial capacity. Anyway I hope that’s the case. Not really sure which sect they belong to. How many are there anyway? Does anyone even know? And how the hell does one tell them apart? Well, doesn’t matter much to me. Not really my cup of tea. In my opinion if a Muslim of any sect manages to come up with some rationale for not murdering people or exhorting other people to murder people then I’m satisfied. I don’t need to know the details. Can’t ask for too much in this world you know. Anyway, Mr. Sekaleshafar is currently a guest of the Imam Husain Islamic Centre in Sydney Australia but local authorities are trying to help him back across the border so he may not be there much longer. I can’t imagine he would want to return to Iran. Who would? I suppose he’ll probably be on a plane back to the USA to give us another lecture on Islam. So much ignorance in the world don’t you think? Hey, maybe we can ask his opinion on the morality of mass murder. I’m not joking. I’d like to know what he thinks. We’re not going to start killing gay people in a judicial context in this country because we don’t live in a Stone Age hellhole and we know a little something about human sexuality and believe in personal freedom and so on and so forth. In that context I wonder if the holy man sees any ethical merit in mass murder as a sort of fall back position. Perhaps not perfect according to his belief system but better than doing nothing at all?
Returning to our story, can you believe the incompetence of our security forces? We’ve got a creature who celebrated terrorist attacks and whose dad praised the Taliban terrorist organization on his local access TV show and yet he slithers into a gun shop in Florida and buys an assault rifle, which is something no one but a terrorist or criminal really needs in this country. He tried to buy military grade body armor as well and was unsuccessful only because he went to the wrong shop. When did the Three Stooges take over at FBI? Do you know? I missed it. Omar: “I’ve proclaimed my love and admiration for terrorists and murderers for years. I’ve come to the attention of the FBI on two different occasions on suspicion of supporting international terrorism. My dad supports the Taliban terrorist group on local TV. Can I please have an assault rifle right away? I need it for … something.” Florida and FBI in unison: “Why soitanly! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” Omar: “I also need some military grade body armor. I’m talking about the good stuff. It must be able to take a high power sniper round and allow me to keep on shooting.” Florida: “Sorry fresh out but maybe you can get some at the shop around the corner.” FBI: “Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!” I mean really. It’s embarrassing. Can we pick up our game a bit here? The incompetence and ineffectiveness of our security people in this case is just mind boggling. It’s a problem but old hat I suppose. Violent bigoted conservatives have been murdering innocent people for years all around the globe and of course in recent years Islamic extremists have all but cornered the market. That’s not really news. Indeed, it would be news if a day went by and Islamic extremists didn’t murder some random young person. Can’t do a blog post on that.
Fortunately, I saw another article that got the old brain working again. This article told a rather disturbing tale about a relatively young man (39 years old) named Sebastien who is currently trying to end his own life through Belgium’s legal euthanasia system on the grounds of extreme psychological suffering due to what he characterized as being gay. WTH? Whenever I try to stop talking about sexual orientation there it is all over the news again. Did I mention the nightclub where our domestic Islamic terrorist Omar murdered all those people had a mostly gay clientele? Yes, seems Omar was hanging out with gay people for quite some time before he started murdering them. Trolling for victims or casing the joint are possibilities I suppose. Of course I did read he had been going to that particular nightclub for about three years prior to his murder spree. Seems quite a long time to be casing a joint. Must have had one hell of a complicated set up. Like breaking into Fort Knox. And when it came to it he didn’t seem very particular about his victims. He was also apparently active on gay dating apps for some time. Not really sure how that helped. Doing research I suppose. Of course, there are other explanations. I’ve been reading a lot of speculation that maybe we’re talking about a gay person who was so mentally and emotionally screwed up by his religion he was driven to murder those tempting him down the path of unrighteousness with all their dancing and kissing and loving and friendship and other fiendish devices. Usually in cases like this we’re talking about deranged straight people imbued with religious fervor killing the wanton women they believe are enticing them into the unnecessary sexual activity Middle Eastern religions find so distressing but I guess the gay version works as well. What is it about sex that sets conservatives so on edge anyway? Honestly, I feel sometimes I’m living in Crazy Town. Can we get some top psychiatrists working on it? Maybe they can develop some sort of medication to help conservatives dial down their sexual anxieties a few notches.
Anyway, to get back to Sebastien, my initial reaction was to lash out at the sort of internalized homophobia or really hatred of gay people that would make a conflicted gay person want to kill himself, which I suppose would be pretty similar to whatever might cause a conflicted gay person to want to kill other gay people. I was going to blab on about how incredulous I was that something like that could take place in a more or less modern country like Belgium (as opposed to the sort of overseas pisspot one assumes Omar would have found appealing) but really there’s not much interesting to say there either. We get it. Once one gives up one’s reason and humanity funny things start to happen. Can’t write a blog post on that. Thank goodness after thinking about it a bit more I now suspect something a bit more interesting might be going on at least in Sebastien’s case. Yes! A possible blog post at last! (This must be a personal record. I’ve been talking for five paragraphs and I’ve just now gotten to what I hope is the point. I salute anyone who has managed to stay with me this week.)
I think we’ve wasted enough time on the preliminaries so let’s just dive right in. As I was saying, I thought at first Sebastien might be someone so indoctrinated with hatred for gay people he just can’t handle the fact he is gay himself. (One hears stories like that from time to time. Pretty strange if sexual orientation is a choice as some conservatives believe, right? Maybe after we consult Islamic religious scholar Sheikh Sekaleshafar on the ethics of mass murder we can consult conservative windbag Ben Carson on the mystery of why Sebastien doesn’t just choose a different sexual orientation.) What makes me suspect this might indeed be all we’re talking about is that Sebastien made reference to a “strict Catholic ethos” existing in his household as he was growing up. I feel anytime anyone is subject in his or her youth to any strict form of any religion but particularly any religion with any connection at all to the Middle East then that person’s mental health in later life is likely to become a major concern. If that is the case then it would be sad and a little ironic because of course the age of religious ignorance and intolerance is passing in the USA and other modern countries (although surely still going strong in the more backward regions of the world) and it’s disheartening to think of anyone in a generally modern country like Belgium killing himself or herself for this reason at this point in history. Rather like dying on the last day of a war. (If you’re not following me on this point and have trouble imagining what happens when human sexuality collides with religiosity inside someone’s head check out the reference below on internalized homophobia. Take a look in particular at the account of the young Muslim fellow who explains how he was driven to increasingly extreme religious behavior in a vain attempt to compensate for the self hatred he experienced after realizing he was gay but committed to a religion that presents being gay as a fatal moral failing.)
However, I then noticed Sebastien added he was attracted specifically to “young men and adolescent boys.” Oh. Wait a minute. Adolescent boys? Is that what we’re talking about? Is the issue not so much he’s gay but he’s sexually attracted to underaged kids? To me that’s a rather different issue and certainly not specific to gay people. Lolita ring a bell? Anyway, if that’s the case then that seems to me a rather more interesting sort of question. I’m sure I’ve commented before that current research suggests sexual attraction and orientation are of uncertain origin, established very early in life, buried pretty deeply in one’s psyche, and considered by mental health professionals to be basically impossible to change. So what is one to do? Well, I’m not a trained psychologist but off the top of my head I suppose there are two main ways to go: The first is an all out assault on one’s brain to eradicate unacceptable sexual thoughts. That approach doesn’t seem to me very likely to work. Sounds quite similar to trying to change one’s sexuality, which I’ve already noted most knowledgeable people now think is impossible. I suspect if one tries that approach a bit too strenuously one might just end up doing oneself a mischief. The second is the rather more modest approach of accepting one’s lot but taking steps to manage the problem. That sounds to me more like something that might actually work. As far as that goes I have to wonder if Sebastien has tried the traditional home remedy for managing funny sexual urges: porn.
I’m not kidding. I’ve been doing a little research of my own the past several years and I’ve discovered one can find porn relating to all manner of things. Did you know? I infer there’s quite a bit of variation out there in what people find titillating. I know some people feel differently but it seems to me a pretty harmless way to manage these sorts of issues. Read a story. Look at a drawing or a photo or a video and then use your imagination. (And when I say a photo or a video I mean one that either isn’t pornographic or one that is but legal and aboveboard. Looking at a photo or a video of someone else abusing an underaged kid or doing something else similarly reprehensible would defeat the whole purpose.) Get it all out. Then get on with life. You know, if one is mature and sane one usually knows full well what one should do but if one imagines doing something else from time to time I guess it’s not the end of the world. I’m a firm believer it’s what one actually does that matters in this life not what random thoughts might pass through one’s head. Anyway, I suspect for most people porn therapy works because that’s how sexuality usually works. One gets a bit horny for some reason and spends a few moments sorting it and it goes away. I get that one might argue viewing porn or some types of porn anyway is giving in to the ugliness of the human condition and it would be superior to resist such unpleasantness. I don’t know. Maybe. But I suspect it’s a heck of a lot healthier than pretending it doesn’t exist. Monsters grow in darkness and secrecy. Better to get things out in the open where you can deal with them. Get the odd sexual fantasy out of the way and get on with the business of life including the important life task of developing meaningful emotional relationships with other people. Don’t get me wrong. It’s great if one manages the semi-mythical perfect union of sex and love but let’s not make a fetish out of it. Doesn’t always work that way nor should one expect it to. You might love your wife very much but maybe she just isn’t into dressing up like Princess Leia and licking your balls all night long. (Pardon the vulgarity but I am doing a post on porn after all.) Life goes on. Go rest your head in your bedroom for a few minutes and come back when you feel better. I think similar reasoning might apply to Sebastien. If he has sexual feelings for underaged boys he can’t shake off then he’s probably better off trying to manage it in a positive way rather than obsessing about it. Find a way to deal with it that doesn’t harm anyone. If one is sincerely attracted to boys one should know as an adult one has a moral responsibility to put their interests first. That is the essence of true love after all don’t you think? Find some way to get the funny sexual feelings out of the way and perhaps one can enjoy the beauty of boys and interact with them in a caring and supportive way as one ought to do.
Of course I suppose porn therapy probably isn’t advisable in every case. If one has obsessive tendencies it may be the more porn one reads the more one thinks about inappropriate sexual behavior. Or again I suppose it wouldn’t be advisable for people with a tenuous grip on reality. The whole approach is predicated on the ability to maintain a distinction between the no holds barred private world of the imagination and the real world where one has ethical responsibilities one cannot ignore. If one is apt to lose track of which world one is in porn therapy sounds like trouble waiting to happen. And of course some people who have inappropriate urges might not have much in the imagination department. They may feel they have no choice but to actually carry through on their funny thoughts. I suppose porn wouldn’t do much for them. What to do in these sorts of cases? Well, I think now we’re starting to talk about some serious mental illness. We all have responsibilities toward our fellow humans so if one knows one has an illness that puts other people at risk one has a responsibility to deal with it. See a doctor. Take medications. Check yourself into an institution. Do what you have to do. And if those things also don’t work? If one has done everything one can think of and is still beset with obsessive and nearly uncontrollable urges to do something reprehensible like rape little girls or what have you? Well, I’m sorry to say so but in that case perhaps the honorable thing to do is what Sebastien has a mind to do.
A lot of talk to very little effect, right? I just don’t have enough information to really know what to make of our fellow traveler Sebastien. I certainly hope he’s not just a conflicted gay man terminally disabled by religious brainwashing. Maybe it’s the humanist in me talking but I don’t see much wrong with consenting adults having a bit of how do you do now and again. Hate to think of someone killing himself or herself over something like that. If he’s struggling with inappropriate sexual thoughts relating to kids I hope he’s tried everything to treat it including porn therapy. If he fears he may succumb to uncontrollable urges to harm kids and has tried every remedy and nothing is working and he wants to take the honorable path of removing himself from this world to protect others then perhaps the man deserves our respect. I guess in some ways we all must play the hand we’re dealt but if one really tries one might exit this world with one’s humanity intact. Can’t ask for much more than that.
References
Police: 50 killed in Florida nightclub terror attack. Ashley Fantz, Faith Karimi, and Eliott McLaughlin. June 12, 2016. CNN. http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/12/us/orlando-nightclub-shooting/index.html
Shooter Omar Mateen’s father says he’s saddened by massacre, calls gunman ‘a good son’. Tim Craig, Max Bearak, Lee Powel. June 13, 2016. Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/the-orlando-shooters-afghan-roots/2016/06/13/d89a8cd0-30e4-11e6-ab9d-1da2b0f24f93_story.html?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_flaafghan-503am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory.
On 9/11, Omar Mateen’s classmates mourned. Some say he celebrated. William Wan, Brian Murphy. June 13, 2016. Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/06/13/on-911-omar-mateens-classmates-mourned-some-say-he-celebrated/?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_mateen_pn_1115am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.23587772c4c4.
Witness: Orlando shooter laughed during rampage. Madison Park and Ray Sanchez. June 14, 2016. CNN. http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/14/us/orlando-shooting-as-it-happened/index.html.
Australia may expel gay-hate preacher linked to Orlando. June 14, 2016. BBC. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-36524747.
Man seeks euthanasia to end his sexuality struggle. Jonathan Blake. BBC. June 9, 2016. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-36489090.
Did internalised homophobia spark Orlando nightclub attack? Jasmine Taylor-Coleman. BBC. June 15, 2016. http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-36534693.
